Don’t forget your umbrella, I might water the plants today! —God 出门别忘了带雨伞，我今天可能要浇花。——上帝

If you miss the sunrise I made for you today, never mind. I’ll make you another one tomorrow.—God 错过了今天我为你准备的日出？没关系，明天我会为你再准备一次。——上帝

How can you possibly be a self-made man? I specifically recall creating you. —God 你怎么可能是自我创造出来的呢？我记得特别清楚，当时是如何创造你的。——上帝

Of course I have a sense of humor. I gave you the platypus, didn’t it ? —God 幽默感？我当然有！鸭嘴兽不就是我为你们创造的吗？——上帝

It’s not the end of the world. Not until I say so, anyway. —God 世界末日？还不是时候呢。至少我还没有宣布，不是么？——上帝

I hate rules, That’s why I only made ten of them. —God 戒条？我可不喜欢了，所以十条就够了。——上帝

If you think Mona Lisa is stunnig, you should look at my masterpiece , In the mirror . —God 觉得“蒙娜丽莎”很不错？那你应该看看我的杰作，就在镜子里。——上帝

If I gave yuo everthing you ask for. Where would you put it ? —God 如果我把你想要的都赐给了你，你哪有那么多地方摆放呢？——上帝

What do I have to do to get your attention? Take out an ad in the paper? —God 我到底怎么做才能引起你的注意呢？在报纸上放个广告怎么样？——上帝

Nietzche is dead. —God 尼采？我还活得好好的，他却已经离世了。 ——上帝

Do not drink and drive, I know you do not want to see me.— God 酒后别开车，我知道你还不想见我。 ——上帝

Could you imagine the supply of the air if it were brought to you by another supplier?— God 如果有一天空气不再是由我创造，而是由其他人来售卖，你能想象那会有多贵么？——上帝

Earthlings, don’t treat me like an alien.— God 地球上的生灵啊，不要把我当做外星人来看待。——上帝。

When you’re weary, and feeling small. When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all. —Simon & Garfunkel

Ditto.—God

当你感觉疲倦而渺小， 当你的眼里满含泪水，我会帮你擦干。——赛门与葛芬柯（60年代的一个乐队名，号称史上最强民谣二人组）

同上。——上帝 I was thinking of making the world black and white. Then I thought…naaah. —God 本来想把这个世界创造成黑白两色。然后我转念一想……呐。还是彩色来得好。——上帝

来源：豆瓣 整理、翻译 by 澈